the rivers are rising and my dream relates to this and to M's pot and self destructive stubbornness.

I was dreaming a small, aged man sat in his own world drinking. Someone kept bossing me and telling me what I should do; that I should hurry that cleaning or whatever had to be done in a certain way. Bug things that shifting and moving. Things in bright colors moved. Someone was always on me causing mental stress. I was to hurry; they would be here soon.

The little man like character confined to drink. Sat bent, rounded shoulders with head down. Quiet warped and engulped in the duty of self sacrifice. The we were called. I see unrecognizable dark shallow figures in shapes of han form. I heard myself yelling about hopefully self destructive behavior that falls on death ears. Soon we are called to duty like demand. The man, the boss is coming. Time to jump into action which showed up as a mighty debris flowing brown river 20 feet below our cliff we stood on. I was expected to jump according to the little old man into the obyss. I hesitated thinking it foolish and dangerous. The little old man having to prove himself one more time knowing he is professional and able to compete jumps before my very eyes. He hits bunched floating timbers and soon I see his face down floating body. With fear gripping my heart I run. Like a shadow memory the action repeats two more times and each time I feel that I am expected to jump but I catch myself and hold back in safety each time.

I remain wise and free. I tried but I am not self destructive enough for my heart is in a different place.

I thin the dream is about dual personallity perhaps M. Feminine in dutifull marriage and perhaps nutch at heart not really expecting a woman to stand by her side but loving that woman and the man she will not leave.